“He told me how much he hates doing it. I’ve been saying the same thing too. I’ve been saying it for years, and I’m still here.”
“We talked about breaking up. But I think it’s too late now. The wedding is in 3 months.”
Both conversations were real. These words were from people who are dear and near to me. They came with a resigned chuckle, shoulders sagged and eyes staring far ahead – a look I know so well.
There is no mistaking the feeling of resignation and abandonment. Like you have run out of choice. Like it’s always a dead end no matter where you turn. Like you want to jump out of your skin and dash forward, leaving behind whatever madness ruling your life at the moment.
I know. I was there. But then, I asked myself:
“What makes you think you don’t have a choice?”
In every situation, accepting responsibility and accountability to our own lives is always the hardest part.
It’s easier to shift the responsibility of actions to another person next to us. It’s easier to keep crying and cowering in the corner, rather than saying, “today is mine, and I choose to do X, Y, and Z”.
What we don’t realise is staying stuck takes a lot more effort than moving forward.
“No one has to stay stuck. If you are serious, you can change old patterns. You’re a human being – you’re not a tree.” – Andrew Matthews
Worrying and whining is tiring, but standing up and doing something energises us. Crying clogs our heads with dark thoughts, but going out and running clears our mind and actually makes we feel better about ourselves.
The next time you feel like a situation got out of control, and you feel like throwing in the towel. Ask yourself again, “what makes you think you don’t have a choice in this situation?”
If today is too much to bear, make it this hour, this five minutes, this sixty seconds. Own it, and make it yours.